okay, long time no see, blogger. haha
i just posted an emo post. now a proper one.
the second part not emo okay, was just unhappy.
i cant be bothered already. nak lepaskan geram je.
guess i'll be okay the next time i see her in school and EVERY CLASS.
im leaving school in a months time anyway. so, shall leave all
negative feelings about these school, schoolmates, teachers and everything else
on this piece of land in chai chee street.

moving on. he's gone. now the ex come back. my sister must be so glad if they
patch things up. hmm.. idk if i'll get affected. do i mind? i have no clue.

oh, i watched johnny english reborn TWICE ! awesome. never fail to laugh.
wana watch many other show. guess gotta wait till after Olevels.

me lost me phone again. hahah. and this time, im not alone.
hakim lost his one also. but he's worst than me. he's uncontactable at all.
i am contactable. got house phone.. :P but, i dont know my one house phone number.
lol kay. and, i havent been contacted for the past 20 hours. ):

i miss band. everyone in band. my sec1 life in band. the glorious moment in band.
the tears, unhappiness, quarrel, nagging, scolding and happy moments there.
everything. cant wait for Genting trip.
miss my saxophone also. haha

kay, im hungry.
i've gained weight anyway. sadd you knowww.
still, im gona go eat now.
ending here
byebye

i dont know what to say about my life.
sometimes, i feel like i dont want any humans at all in my life.
because after all, most of the time, all i get is hurt. but i need them somehow.
i know i should be thinking about my O levels and my future but i cant stop
myself from thinking about those things that are running through my mind.
i realise how badly unappreciated i am to my friends, those whom i love.
not all, but most.
i realise that my presence never made any difference. i realise now where i
actually stand in their life. nowhere.
maybe its just something about me that makes them do whatever that they did.
i wonder why i have been loyal. why i sacrificed time to be their listening ear.
why i bother lending them my shoulder to lean on. when they actually expect me
to have been someone else, that they will call 'brother', 'sister', 'bestfriend' or 'BESTEST bestfriend'.
they wont call me that. maybe they do but they dont mean it.
it your life laa kay. to whoever that will terasa.

anyway, i have been wanting to say this.
fact number 1, im not against Mumtaz.
i like her as a human. i dont despise anyone. anyone that i know.
but, takyah laa interrupt aku bile aku tengah berbual ngn bestfriend kau.
i mean, qeen pn bestfriend aku siol. dari primary school plaktuu.
eventhough we ever did quarrel, had conflicts, we fixed things laa kay.
we've gone through more. you'll have your chance to speak okay.
anyway, aku nie jahat sangat ke sampai kau nak berbual ngn qeen je and not with aku?
or, bodoh sangat in your eyes? or too low of your standard?
i mean, we take the same subjects. except history and geography. all three of us.
i was there, next to qeen abeh aku mcm invisible gitu kat kau. padahal dpn mata je.
okaylaaa, maybe because im NOT your bestfriend. i understand.tapi tanye as classmates pn takleh?
everytime, i do have the urge to ask you how was the paper, but then uh when i see
how desperately you chase after qeen to talk to her, i feel like its okay.
bestfriend comes first. can talk next time and you know what, never had a chance and
then, i dont bother trying anymore.
i know qeen has many bestfriends, the fact that i dont really mind is that her other
friends dont mind intergrating. mcm leena and etc. and they're not even close.
the only link is qeen. but you? we're classmates for TWO freaking years siaa.
same english maths chemistry biology social studies malay from sec1-3 teachers and class !
sometimes after class, when qeen waited for me, you'll leave. when qeen didnt wait
for me, you'll drag her away. when you both wait for me, you'll talk and i'll be lost in the conversation.
i just dont understand why i am really so offended by this. especially for the whole
of these two weeks of prelim. so isolated.