so, what's up?
okay wait. first, congratulation to myself for passing my exams. nyeheh
although i failed three papers which resulted in me failing three subjects.
and all shits from teachers. blahh. and i need to bring my parents down to get my slip.
so, claps...
well, band resumed. yaaaaayyy.
at least there are things to do. like i said, i got no life.

so since i am lifeless, i checked my friendster. super lame right?
its freaking......*speechless* old?
okay so i checked my messages, bulletin all that shits. and i found old flame's msgs.
wow, i realised i used to have a cute boy as my boyf. wtf hahah
then i started having flashbacks of others. what crap sia.
not including the latest one. well, though he havent text me for two days.
i dont actually care. coz im actually tired of entertaining people and ignoring people.

let me end here today
byebye

hello peepo. im back just to say that i will be gone again.
so, see how time flies. very fast. my previous-previous post has been a sad one, i must say.
things aint the same anymore now.
it means, you must not be too attached to something. learn to let go. haha
so yeah, im moving on. since he wants it that way, i cant do anything.
he changed. i changed. we all do. i miss those times, i love it. the feeling.the surrounding.
its so irreplaceable. i might be hurting anyone out there. he/she just need to understand.
well, i cant expect others to understand when i dont understand it myself.
all i know is that, i no longer have any place in his heart or even ever existed in his life.
now, he live his life and i live my life. we need our space to breathe and grow.
let time tell its tale.

its exam now, i cant afford to get myself distracted. i just couldnt help it.
im aware, that im living with hypocrites, surrounded, and eventually being just like them.
faking a smile each and everyday. feigning happiness, all those laughters.
im not as strong as i look. all the things you see are just the things you understand.
you come to me, confide in me. yes, i said i'll be there for you. but it just seem to be too much to handle.
i need a pillar of support too okay. its just too much that im affected and i'll fall.
im not strong for this. im feeling just as insecure as you are. sharing doesnt help.
the feeling doesnt go away with all the words that left my lips.
some time alone might be the best but how long am i supposed to run away?

time to fake a smile now, again. haha
so yeah, exams are fine. i must say i am proud of myself for at least trying to study.
its scary how to see my grades drop from sec one.
it was, WOW.
i dont know what im doing with my life. what shit im soaking myself in.
teachers will usually go ; 'you are an O level candidate'
i'll freaked out by the time they finished their sentence.
im aware. i know. i'll question myself. so this go on and im still so blank.
what can i say...
so, a few papers are a breeze. i have lots of confident when answering but as per normal,
usually, the answers just couldnt let me get the marks. i dont get it.
so, now ive got my answers written, im just left in praying hard.
3 more papers left. im going to enjoy long hours of sleep after that.
i got no life, so?
its not the time to celebrate yet what right.
anyway, i actually need those sleeping hours. i havent been sleeping well.
im unable to sleep at 12am, waking up at 6.30am, get ready by 7am and reach school before 7.25am.
the timing is perfect. because i used to live so near.
and oh, that reminds me, i miss sharifah khairunnisa and boo keong! haaha
plus all my other primary school best friends. memories...
back to the story.
but now, haiz.. i need to sleep earlier. 11pm should be the latest!
i got to wake up latest by 5.30am to get ready on time.
and leave home by 6.25am, wait for lift, walk to bus stop and reached before 6.30am to take the 6.30am bus.
sometimes the lift took too long coz some people from other floors delay it. grr..
so i missed the bus. still, misery dont stop there. i stll need to walk from technopark. wait, im complaining too much on this.
irritating sia linda. well, im just sharing. haha
i know you will say some people might be suffering more. you wont understand until you taste it okeyh!
haha, okay its funny why i suddenly felt it.
i miss band. it seems like i have too much time at hand at such that i dont know how to spend it.
especially my diffeent sizes of babies. as in the instrument. not the players.
haha, well, i miss them too. i miss just doing band stuff lah kay.
like falling in, running up with our bags, setting up, warming up blahblah. the times.
getting scoldings and scolding. alot to learn everyday. time are never wasted.
now what..? kay, just anticipating for band to start again.
its hard to please humans anyway. i'll eventually be complaining again that band is sucking too much of my time. haha
at least im occupied and distracted by a good reason or a better reason.

i guess this post is long enough for an after-so-long-update.
i'll end here for now.
byebye