Jump And Fly

Right Now (Na Na Na) - Akon Take Me To The Disco

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enjoy your visit here.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

i dont know if i should be sad or mad, with what im facing. i dont know if i should be relieved, after expressing, or worried, for what's going to happen next. i dont know if im really the cause of everything because you dont want to tell me anything. i dont know what more im supposed to do to make things right again. i dont know if what i did was enough. i've tried. i dont know if what i did was what im supposed to do. i dont know if putting away my ego is the right choice. i dont know whats on your mind. i dont think you're helping in any way. im not sure if you like it this way, you look like you do. i dont know what else i gotta say. i just hope and wish and pray that you understand whats happening here. i love this friendship too much to an extent that i cried when i shouldnt have. you're really not helping. i dont know whether i was the one who bothered too much in trying to make us like how we used to be or you were the one who cant be bothered at all. it hurts you know. sometimes i wonder if those the times that are spent are those the times that are wasted. sometimes i wonder if i have ever make a difference in you life all this while for you to care. sometimes i wonder do you try to put yourself in our shoes to understand whats happening in here, deep inside. sometimes i wonder if you are sensitive enough to even notice my existence. at times, i think im thinking too much about you to even wonder. i hope you understand. speak up your mind, please.

9 more day

8:27 PM

Monday, March 29, 2010

why is it so hard for you to understand ? stop giving me the temptation to kill you , please .
i do feel like strangling all the shit out of you , plus the brain . URGH !!!
i cant help being mad at every reaction you give . you suck lah kay , you suck .
im sorry , i dont know how more straightforward i should be . *ripping your vodoo*

E-learning at home tmr . theres still band . 11 more day to go .

i need some sleep .

screw you . i really hate you .

gdnyte , world

10:47 PM

Saturday, March 27, 2010

before anything, let me wish those whose birthday is on February and March a very big HAPPY BIRTHDAY !
well, the list can actually go on to a never ending ending, but, okay people like ME dont bother so its for everyone ! =D

outdoor at indoor stadium in 14 day more . good luck to me .

i dont know what im doing with myself . its a stupid decision that need to be made and had been made .
either move on or i'll be stuck there, dangling with nowhere to go if i dont want to budge
because there's no turning back . no matter how much i wished i was back there back then .
everything like how it used to be . yet again, life is short . i've got to keep looking forward but for
this, no, i want to stay . i want to hold on to the memories . what can i do ? all these happened so
fast . too fast that i didnt get to enjoy it while it last . a question just change everything in a blink of an eye .
yes its a regret, but thats because what happened isnt what i hoped to happen . everything
breaks my heart even more instead . im so shattered lah .. i dont understand what i actually
want . i used to mention that i dont want it to happen due to the consequences . now that i asked
for it to stop to prevent the consequences from happening, it got out of control and it seems like
the consequences dont just happened there . what shit am i talking ? okay lets just say, its just
going around in circles . no point trying to stop it if its really already going to happen .

i found a few old pichaa which i never uploaded .

this is old <3>

this was what it was after Fafa and Irfan

now its just this with Syuhada and Ryan?

its been three years . how time flies . whats going to happen next ?

9:46 PM

Sunday, March 14, 2010

people change . influenced and pressurized by peers .
or probably , they change just because they feel like it . they got bored with this circle .
we used to treat everyone equally . getting the same treatment .
happily . well , at least thats how it used to seem like .
we used to care for one another , everyone is concerned for each others' whereabouts , studies and so on .
but now , some people get a better treatment which seems like they love to be in the center of attraction . and others didnt mind about it .
because they are the one giving the treatment .
now we , who still wants to keep the flow as how it used to , felt so left out , alone and abandoned .
they share laughter among themselves . not involving the people around as if we dont exist .
they give that *up to u* kinda thing attitude . maybe not everyone .

shutting oneself out , being asked by others okay or not , still keeping quiet , others give that *i dont give a shit already and whatever * face just because their answer are not replied .
isnt the answer quite straightforward already ?

pretty obvious that they asked just for the sake of asking .
at least thats how it looked like . there's no more sincerity .
things used to get better afterwards , but now , everyday is already different .
its not going to get any better .
where did the love that everyone used to have gone to ?
where did all the memories that should have at least been appreciated disappear ?
life was better back then .
yet again , people change . which people like me are not prepared to accept it .
but its their life . who am i to change them if i dont have a place in their heart anymore .
or maybe i never had a place at all .

this whole post is just about me and my feelings . and about how things looked like from my view in my position .
maybe you dont know who i'm referring to . if you think i'm referring to you , before you get mad , get the whole picture first . you might understand , that i'm sad .
i dont expect anything , i'm just feeling sorry for myself that i felt so useless as a friend .

this isnt just it .

8:58 AM